It's a shame really, there aren't too many great rock bands around anymore. I mean, sure there are bands out there now that have been around for some time, but when was the last time that a really great, straight forward, meat and potatoes rock band came out? Especially one that wasn't aping the sound of a myriad of better bands that came before them. Well, I suppose I'll have to be content with Alice in Chains for the moment (not that that will be hard).
The first portion of this past week I went with my girlfriend and another friend of ours (both of whose blogs are linked to the right) to a cabin in the shadow of Mt. Elbert. It was a good two days of relaxation away from technology, school, the band, and all the other craziness that seems to be my life. I noticed something though in trying to get away from the city and "society;" even in a fairly remote cabin in the mountains, there is still a highway. There is still electricity. There is still a plastic garbage bag underneath the "waterwheel" outside the cabin to prevent rotting. Is any of this bad? Of course not. Like I said, the two days there were a much needed break and escape and I feel much more refreshed. Even in escape though, modern society and all it's amenities are still there. It makes me think about the idea of globalization. Here we are, in a society that is linked with the rest of the world through technology living in a time and age where the world has very few hidden places (if any). The Age of Exploration I imagine was a time where the world seemed endless. Now the world has an end. I have a feeling that if I lived in that time and knew then what the fruits of my endeavors would be, I would probably shit my pants. There are no more blank spaces on the map. The whole planet has been Terra formed to our will, to our advances in science and technology. There is no real true escape into nature as anywhere you go you are bound to find modern civilization just on the border. This is not necessarily bad, it simply is. However, have we lost something in being the creators of our world? We have taken this creation and reshaped it into our will. Landscaping is to an extent the ultimate example of man being the creator of the world. Man being god. A stretch? Perhaps, but you all should be used to that.
Federal aid for going to school is a strange thing. Sometimes I feel like the government is simply saying, "ohhhh, poor thing. Your family doesn't make near enough money to support itself. Well instead of giving your dad a job so he can pay for school and food, we'll just give you a bunch of money and leave your family to fend for themselves." Sad state of affairs in my opinion.
Blue Like Jazz; I've heard people say that this book changed their life and their way of thinking. I don't count myself among those people, but I will say this; Donald Miller and I share a lot of the same observations and feelings on Christianity. I still find myself saying "Hell yea! Preach it brother!" at times while I am reading it. I came across a book in Borders yesterday called Revolution by George Barna and in the book Barna talks about the changing face of the American church. I would like to read his insights and I have a feeling that he would be very positive and optimistic about it. There is a change going on in the church in America and I can't decide if it's for the good, the bad, or if it will last. That is another blog for another day.
Friday, March 23, 2007
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Metal up your ass!
So I read an interesting article this morning. Read it for yourself below;
Clicky, clicky.
Now, my first reaction to this was, "Hell Yeah!" I've been an avid metal listener since I was 15 and I still enjoy and love the music as much as I did back then. Being that I've always had good grades in school (not always fantastic, but good and great... great and good.) and the social perception that kids who listen to metal are mental peons and "bad seeds" has always bugged me. Anyone who knows me knows that neither of those labels fit to well. It's not that I'm trying to be egotistical, I'm simply stating what others have observed about me. While this article validates a truth that I've long known (you can be a genius and listen to metal) the article itself really only purports that this is a possibility and not a general fact. While still cool, I think the real quality in the article is in it's unintended explanation of why people listen to metal (in general); that it is music of the social outcast.
I do not consider myself that much of a socially awkward person, though at one time I was. When I first got into the music, I was a large glasses wearing, showering three times a week, bonafide home school nerd. I still am that same nerd, I just don't look or act it anymore. I was the socially self conscious, awkward kid. I was not (nor am I still) that violent or angry of a person. Yet something about the themes of alienation, the loud aggressive playing, it all rang true to me. It was also the first thing that I got into that other people would consider "cool" without it being "nerd cool." Anime, that's nerd cool. Science fiction, that's nerd cool. Reading and writing, nerd cool. Listening to metal and playing bass, that's just cool. I still wouldn't consider myself a "cool" person but the thing that listening to metal did most for me, it heightened my sense of individuality. While I now had something in common with certain people in my school, I began to have nothing in common with people at my church. While they were all about Third Day and whatever flavor of the week "worship" band was around at that time, I was proselytizing the gospel of Zao, Sevendust, Metallica, Refused, Machine Head, King's X, Soulfly, Tool... you get the idea. Yet it felt like, even though almost no one in my group of people who "believed the same as I did" listened to it, it gave me an individual identity. It helped me to start to think about why I liked this stuff and other people didn't. I may not be explaining it well, but the point is simple; metal and heavy music in general helped me to think for myself, but to also express my individual thoughts and to be fine with not fitting in. And then there is the sense of family and community that is felt at metal shows. Where else can you have an hour long conversation with someone you'd probably never be friends with outside of that setting yet because you both listen to metal you automatically have something in common and are "BFFs" for that moment. A shared belief if you will. You know what's sad? I've almost never felt the same about my faith in Christ and my interactions with most of his "followers." What does that say about the state of American "Christianity." Hmmm... a little cynicism from my earlier days. Perhaps.
What is my point in writing all this? To try and defend metal and the music I listen to? No. If you don't get metal, there's a good chance you may never get it. Even if you understand the reasons one listens to it, there is still the harshness of the music itself. Some people can't get past that. Others love it. I suppose my point in writing this blog was to critique an adequately done newspaper article that became a "testimony" of sorts. I don't know where I'm going with this half assed blog so... go listen to some Opeth and raise your IQ a little.
Clicky, clicky.
Now, my first reaction to this was, "Hell Yeah!" I've been an avid metal listener since I was 15 and I still enjoy and love the music as much as I did back then. Being that I've always had good grades in school (not always fantastic, but good and great... great and good.) and the social perception that kids who listen to metal are mental peons and "bad seeds" has always bugged me. Anyone who knows me knows that neither of those labels fit to well. It's not that I'm trying to be egotistical, I'm simply stating what others have observed about me. While this article validates a truth that I've long known (you can be a genius and listen to metal) the article itself really only purports that this is a possibility and not a general fact. While still cool, I think the real quality in the article is in it's unintended explanation of why people listen to metal (in general); that it is music of the social outcast.
I do not consider myself that much of a socially awkward person, though at one time I was. When I first got into the music, I was a large glasses wearing, showering three times a week, bonafide home school nerd. I still am that same nerd, I just don't look or act it anymore. I was the socially self conscious, awkward kid. I was not (nor am I still) that violent or angry of a person. Yet something about the themes of alienation, the loud aggressive playing, it all rang true to me. It was also the first thing that I got into that other people would consider "cool" without it being "nerd cool." Anime, that's nerd cool. Science fiction, that's nerd cool. Reading and writing, nerd cool. Listening to metal and playing bass, that's just cool. I still wouldn't consider myself a "cool" person but the thing that listening to metal did most for me, it heightened my sense of individuality. While I now had something in common with certain people in my school, I began to have nothing in common with people at my church. While they were all about Third Day and whatever flavor of the week "worship" band was around at that time, I was proselytizing the gospel of Zao, Sevendust, Metallica, Refused, Machine Head, King's X, Soulfly, Tool... you get the idea. Yet it felt like, even though almost no one in my group of people who "believed the same as I did" listened to it, it gave me an individual identity. It helped me to start to think about why I liked this stuff and other people didn't. I may not be explaining it well, but the point is simple; metal and heavy music in general helped me to think for myself, but to also express my individual thoughts and to be fine with not fitting in. And then there is the sense of family and community that is felt at metal shows. Where else can you have an hour long conversation with someone you'd probably never be friends with outside of that setting yet because you both listen to metal you automatically have something in common and are "BFFs" for that moment. A shared belief if you will. You know what's sad? I've almost never felt the same about my faith in Christ and my interactions with most of his "followers." What does that say about the state of American "Christianity." Hmmm... a little cynicism from my earlier days. Perhaps.
What is my point in writing all this? To try and defend metal and the music I listen to? No. If you don't get metal, there's a good chance you may never get it. Even if you understand the reasons one listens to it, there is still the harshness of the music itself. Some people can't get past that. Others love it. I suppose my point in writing this blog was to critique an adequately done newspaper article that became a "testimony" of sorts. I don't know where I'm going with this half assed blog so... go listen to some Opeth and raise your IQ a little.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
...
Today, being the 13th of March, is the day in which I walked out of class. I have no good reason other than the fact that as I sat there I had no earthly desire to be there. No one was talking, the woman proctoring the review had no clue what to talk about (thus being no help at all)and I could have counted all the people in there on one hand. So I left. I picked up my stuff and walked out.
Now that my story is done... I'm finding myself in this weird headspace again. The same headspace that I was in on Sunday, which is not the best during mid-terms. I keep finding myself coming back to the thoughts of what a friend did after being in school for two years. She quit and went and did foreign missions for something like... three years? Sounds right. I don't know if I'm cut out for foreign missions (actually, I'm sure I'm not) but picking up and traveling... I could do that. Hmmmm... writing calms me. Writing my thoughts out makes me fall back into that place known as perspective. I need a break. I need a break from school, the band, and Colorado. It won't happen, I know. Still... that desire is there.
Now that my story is done... I'm finding myself in this weird headspace again. The same headspace that I was in on Sunday, which is not the best during mid-terms. I keep finding myself coming back to the thoughts of what a friend did after being in school for two years. She quit and went and did foreign missions for something like... three years? Sounds right. I don't know if I'm cut out for foreign missions (actually, I'm sure I'm not) but picking up and traveling... I could do that. Hmmmm... writing calms me. Writing my thoughts out makes me fall back into that place known as perspective. I need a break. I need a break from school, the band, and Colorado. It won't happen, I know. Still... that desire is there.
Monday, March 12, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Honesty...
So here it is, almost time to set the clocks forward an hour. Yep, DST is coming early this year. So that means that it's... 2:45 in the morning? Something like that. I am up late because I honestly can not make sense of things right now. I came down on Friday from Greeley to Colorado Springs for a few gigs (one of which I have played) and while the show was really good (one of the best yet) it is the past day of Sat. that is sticking in my mind. In my failed attempt to finish the novel Graceland by Chris Abani, I wound up reading some of the most disturbing and shocking chapters yet. It's a book that will take by surprise with it's bluntness in tackling "taboo" topics. It seemed to be a portent however for the emotional and raw conversations that I would have the rest of the evening. Neither conversation will be repeated for sake of respect to the individuals involved, but even the gore bath that is the movie 300 seemed to fit with the emotional nature of today. The movie being a capstone to the metaphorical flesh tearing that ensued only hours before.
It makes me think about honesty. So often is this the thing we desire, yet fear the most in our relationships. The type of vulnerability that comes with being honest is hard to come by; you never know if the individual whom you are bearing your soul too will wipe the blood from the gaping scars or leave you prostrate on the floor. Forgive the grime imagery; visual violence of the gratuitous type that has been seen by my eyes tonight sticks with me. While scary, this honesty is worth it. Cauterization can not be achieved with out first pinpointing the gash and thus the healing begins. It's painful, scary, and downright uncomfortable yet incredibly beautiful when found in this place of forgiveness, vulnerability, servitude, and most importantly love. "Love is patient, love is kind..." sticks out like a neon sign. Love. Love for the one afflicted. Love for the one giving healing. Love for oneself. Forgiveness for oneself. Forgiveness for the wounded. Love and forgiveness, two things that I would be nothing without. My only prayer is that I can live up to even a simple iota of the ultimate example of this, even though I never will. Rambling thoughts. Thank you and goodnight.
It makes me think about honesty. So often is this the thing we desire, yet fear the most in our relationships. The type of vulnerability that comes with being honest is hard to come by; you never know if the individual whom you are bearing your soul too will wipe the blood from the gaping scars or leave you prostrate on the floor. Forgive the grime imagery; visual violence of the gratuitous type that has been seen by my eyes tonight sticks with me. While scary, this honesty is worth it. Cauterization can not be achieved with out first pinpointing the gash and thus the healing begins. It's painful, scary, and downright uncomfortable yet incredibly beautiful when found in this place of forgiveness, vulnerability, servitude, and most importantly love. "Love is patient, love is kind..." sticks out like a neon sign. Love. Love for the one afflicted. Love for the one giving healing. Love for oneself. Forgiveness for oneself. Forgiveness for the wounded. Love and forgiveness, two things that I would be nothing without. My only prayer is that I can live up to even a simple iota of the ultimate example of this, even though I never will. Rambling thoughts. Thank you and goodnight.
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