I shuffle my feet through the empty halls of a decayed institution of learning. I check the lights and see that I am alone in cold rooms that echo my every word. Every night I hit the floor and fall into sleep as if I were a dead man, only to rise at the coming of the sun to do it all over again...
So, I am now getting ready to begin week five of Youthworks St. Louis. For those of you who don't keep up with what I do, I have been in St. Louis for the past six weeks doing what is known as the Youthworks summer. My job here is simple; to facilitate week long missions trips for high school church groups in St. Louis. We are going into our fifth week of having youth here and I am, as to be expected, exhausted. My days run from about 6 in the morning to 11:30 at night and I'm usually up later than that. My specific job at the site here in STL is known as Urban Staff. This means that I coordinate the volunteer and service work that the high schoolers do for various non-profits in Downtown and north St. Louis. Most of my day is spent going between sites, making sure things are running smoothly and keeping up a good relationship with the non-profits. I also divide up the youth into "crews" every week, splitting up the groups so that they all go somewhere and that they all have different and unique experiences. I actually don't mind most of this and there is a bit of fun in dividing up 70 people every week (gives me a bit of power trip, until I get frustrated when all the churches bring 7 passenger mini-vans).
I have gone through quite the emotional rollercoaster this summer in just being here. From having strong feelings of not wanting to do it at the beginning (to almost quitting) to being lonely and missing home, to where I am now. Still homesick, still wanting to get back to the things I love back at home but at the same time realizing the important work that is being done here. Even though these are mission trips, the main focus of Youthworks is not so much to go a spread the gospel with tracts and hellfire, but to go into communities and make a visible and physical difference in people's lives all for the sake of spreading to message of God's love. Honestly, as cynical of a person I am towards American Christianity, I can't say anything against Youthworks. The organization is doing something to help people and make lives better and that is incredibly commendable. It is my hope and prayer that in the end, my work here will have brought some light into a dark place and that the eight weeks we had youth here will impact St. Louis for the better. So far, it has and I see no reason while it won't continue. From the kids who live in a part of the city that has to have a police officer on site at a park during the day, to the elderly folks who can't clean their basement because of illness and age, to the homeless men who can't get a meal, the youth have been a part of spreading some love to all these people and I have seen and heard stories about how already there is a change in people's lives. Here's a story for you all; there is a park we work at called Dwight Davis. This is the park where we find the police officer there during the day so we will feel protected. A young child came up to one of the youth and said, "Did you hear about the guy who got shot last night." The youth replied, "yea." Then the child said, "That was my brother." There was a pause and then the kid said, "can I just talk to you for a bit. I have some stuff I need to work through." A child under the age of ten shouldn't have to deal with that and it puts a smile on my face when I see how happy and joyful the kids are to have our youth there to just play with and love them.
So, now that I have the tear jerker story out of the way, here are two of the cray things that have happened to me this summer. First week, I broke my pinkie playing basketball with a group from Ohio. I have the splint off now and I hope that it healed alright. Secondly, this past Wednesday I got into a car accident. I was driving out with a group to their "ministry site" for the day and I didn't realize that the bus in front of me had stopped. Well it did and I looked away form the road for a split second and BAM! smashed right into the back of it. Don't worry I am ok, but Wendy (our 98 Ford Windstar mini-van) is no more. The front of the mini-van became a slinky and no it will cost way too much to fix (which means at some point, we get a new mini-van). There have been some other crazy things happen, but I don't want to tell all my stories at once.
It has been a whirlwind summer and I will be ready to return home when it is time. For now, despite the bad weeks and exhaustion and frustration, I am enjoying it. It all makes sense when that one youth finally gets the idea and message across that we are trying to get to them. I haven't had a ton of them, but the few I have make it all worthwhile.
